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Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Simple pleasures

Lovely Michigan day today.  Sixtyish.  Plenty of sunshine early on...the tulips and daffodils blooming.  Bree and I had a nice long meandering walk, ending up halfway to Hudson Mills on the new trail. Now it is raining softly. The air smells sweet and earthy.  Bree is sleeping at my feet, sweetly snoring.  My plan for the rest of the evening is a good book and warm, organic applesauce.  Simple day. Simple things.  Life has meaning in these small pleasures.


6AM

Thoughts for the day:

Why am I still awake at this hour?

iPods are the best thing ever!

My smart phone is really stupid.

Quiet people interest me.

Why do some people carry around so much hate, and others carry around so much love it's contagious?

I broke ground for my new vegetable garden this weekend.

My flowers will probably suffer as a result.

Every morning Bree grabs coasters from my dining room, and places one in each room.  She also removes toilet paper cardboard from the wastebaskets in the bathrooms,  probably because she wants me to put them in the recycling bin.

Laughter cures everything.

I excel at swearing...one of my many faults.

The last time I wore heels was at my highschool proms.

I'm insulted by men who  refer to women as "girls".

Who says Facebook friendships are not real?!

I know it will rain all week, because I need to roto-till my garden NOW!

I have a stomach bug, and a sore neck and severe headaches 24/7. That sucks.

I can't stand Lady Gaga. She's such a poser.

Does anyone still write in cursive?

I can't remember the last time I mailed a letter.

What is wrong with GenXers and millenials, in that they are so apathetic and/or cynical.

It is now time for 20-40 somethings to take their turn to fuck up the country.

Rob Ford.

Racism is still a huge problem in this country.

We've had two stupid wars that Republicans started, and they want boots on the ground in Syria.

Israel needs to turn over Gaza and the West Bank to the Palestinians.

I have a hard time writing anything in over 140 characters.

Swimming is a Zen thing, unless the "water walkers" are there.

The world is not about only you... or me.

Debating religion with Fundamentalists is a profound waste of time.

For God's sake, teach your kids to swim!

Have you ever heard of fecal transplantation?

Why are billions being spent on treating cancer, and less attention paid to researching a cure. *We all know the answer to that question.*

People who deny that they are not racists over and over again, are usually the worst bigots.

I have problems with commas. I somehow missed that in grade school.

Graduating from college does not mean that you are smarter than those who didn't go to college. It simply means that you are tenacious, and that you test well.

Horses and dogs are sentient beings.

Rambling on about stuff is just so much fun.

My book will be finished by the end of the summer.

Right now I have painter's block.

Drawing is one of the most healing and rewarding thing to do.

I want a fainting couch.

Too much money gives you cooties.

Saturday, April 26, 2014

#concussions

MY FUCKING HEAD HURTS!!!  *Sorry. Headaches make me a little cranky.*

Monday, April 21, 2014

Brain Fog Ramblings

Ever had one of those headaches?  Yeah. You know what I mean...Only this one isn't going away.  I've also got tinnitus...Sounds like rushing water...a waterfall. So bear with me here.

Concussion #1 at the end of March was a classic slip and fall on an icy sidewalk with Bree. It didn't seem too bad. At first.  The next day or so, I called Christine, my doc, who tells me I need to get checked out at the ER. I called UofM, but, as always, they were slammed.  So Michael drove me to the Chelsea ER.  We got there, and it was deserted.  Brand new remodeled ER. No patients.  Fine with me. The surly old nurse with a scraggly long beard sends me in for a CAT scan.  Back to my cubicle. Wait for two hours, and a kid...a 20-something walks in and announces that he's the PA, and thinks he should order a CAT scan. OK.  Kid's not really got game. I explain to him, patiently, that it had been done hours ago. Surprise!  Since there is no radiologist in the building, he wanders off to read it himself.  Meanwhile, it's cold, dark, and creepy. So glad Michael was there.  Eventually, he wanders back in and informs me that my scan is clear, and I can go.  He hands me a pain script.  So. I ask if there's a doctor available.  He hems and haws, and tells me the "Doctor" is busy. I say: "With what?!"  There is no doc. OKAY!  Michael went out to get the car, and I walk back through the deserted and dark ER.  The only humans present are the surly male nurse, and some other dude looking bored...both with their feet on the desk. I  ask where I go to check out.  Surly nurse says:"Talk to the girl up front."  I was already in a mood, so I say:"You mean the WOMAN up front."  He says:"Yeah. The girl." My response: "Thank you, boy." Get home and sleep for 16 hours straight.

Still with neck pain and a headache, I try to swim...but find it too painful. Only took their narcotic once.  I hate those!

April comes, and it's a beautiful, sunny day.  I grab Bree for our pre-dinner walk.  We get around the corner of the house and BOOM. Lights out, and Bree is licking my face.  Luckily, a neighbor sees me on the ground, and calls 911.  I fell into the side of the house, I think, because I have a huge lump on the side of my head, and my left arm and shoulder hurts, in addition to my hip. Crap. EMS comes out, loads me up in their truck, and we make way through Ann Arbor, hitting every fucking pothole on the road. (And there are LOTS of them this year.)  Wait on a gurney in a hallway, forever. Somebody comes by and takes my vitals. Some resident sends me back for yet another CAT scan...which takes HOURS to read, because the place is a zoo. Brand new ER here, too. Not enough nurses. Not enough real docs. Eventually, a diminutive little man, apparently the attending walks in and informs me that my CAT scan was fine. I have a concussion. Well. duh. and I could return home.  I explain to him, that I had not healed from a previous concussion, and should I be concerned about a second one so soon after the first.  He rolls his eyes, (little bastard) and tells me someone would be making an appointment at the "Concussion Clinic." I ask what that involves. He says he doesn't know.  He's never heard of it. So. Back home again.  Sleep again all night, except I come downstairs for some reason, and find myself on the floor. Again. Give Christine a call. She calls me in. I explain what's been going on, and she's pissed that neither hospital did an MRI, as, she pointed out, blood clots cannot always be seen with a CAT scan only. Great.



But Christine's worried about WHY I fell, so she ordered a halter monitor for me to wear for 24 hours...Originally, she wanted me to wear one for a month, but she also knows I'm training a lot, and need to get back in the water.  It's taped to my chest right now, and, happily, it's only as big as a cell phone...and tomorrow, at exactly 3:05 PM I can take it off.

I'm guessing she won't find anything. Soooo....I'm left with this massive headache and neck pain.  Took Bree for our long evening walk...something that I love to do...especially in the Spring.

This headache has GOT to go, though.  We'll be digging up the backyard for a veggie garden this weekend.  Not gonna be fun with vertigo, headache, and neck pain.

Is this not THE whiniest post you have ever read?  I think I should get some kind of reward for that.

Sunday, April 13, 2014

Dain Bramage

Concussion #2...I KNOW!!!  Took a hard fall the other day while getting ready to walk Bree.  I think I hit my head hard on the side of the house, given that I have a huge lump on the left of my head, large bruises on my left arm and hip.  My second concussion in less than 20 days.  Not good.  Still having some vision and memory problems. Spent a CONSIDERABLE amount of time in the zoo that is the UofM ER.  Cat scans are clear, but I am being asked to go to Concussion Clinic.  I have NO idea what that's all about, but it sounds boring.

Actually, I have NO idea how many lifetime TBIs I've had, but they have been numerous.  Not good, but I'll live. Back in the water on Monday!

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Questions with no answers/ a Hump Day special!

Why don't I see more children playing outdoors anymore?

Is Mark Zuckerberg an ethical man?

Is Warren Buffett a great man?

Why can't I have lunch with Toni Morrison?

Why is war a partisan issue in the United States?

Why are so many people wasting time worrying about what others think about them?

Why is there always one neighbor in every neighborhood who is an asshole?

Do you need a PhD to know that the mentally ill are not the problem?

Why do religious people believe that their faith is superior to others?

Physicians have such a sense of self-entitlement.  Why?

Are boys easier to raise than girls?  If so, do they "turn out" any better?

Where is the respect for the elders in our country?

Why do Americans consider making large sums of money a sign of a successful life?

What has happened to humility?

Why is it so hard to say you're sorry?

When will people learn to love and be loved with no conditions or reservations?


Autobiography

My book is coming along.  The last couple of chapters practically wrote themselves!  I have some more to add, but, at the moment I'm taking a break from it.  I'm going back and editing, re-editing, and editing again.  It's been a painful, yet cathartic experience.  My hope is that this book will be read by those it can help the most.  It will most likely be an e-book, and will be published under my given name, not my married name.  Originally, I was going to use a pseudonym...but, I feel I need to face my fears, and be up-front about who I am.  Hopefully, I'll have a good solid rough draft by next Fall.  We'll see.  NO SPOILERS!

Friday, April 4, 2014

Rainy day

I happen to love rainy days.  I'm sitting on the sun porch with Bree, listening to the sound of the drops hitting the windows.  Kinda daydreaming.

Random thoughts:

Hatred will poison you.  The only cure is love.

Take risks.

Eliminate from your life negative people who bring you down.

A big, fluffy dog is a wonderful friend.

Make your own family.  These are the people in your life who love and support you, no matter what.

If you've never loved an animal, it is very sad.

Loving a horse has taught me how to better understand people.

Meditation is miraculous.

Rest will restore you.  Allow yourself some time each day to just be. (A nice glass of wine helps)

If you hate your job, and are extremely stressed about it.  Quit.

Money doesn't mean shit.  All you need is enough. (Those of you who know me will understand what I mean.)

If you're having a bad day, walk to a playground and watch the children play.

Swimming is a form of meditation.  I don't think when I swim. I drift.

Golf is a stupid sport.

Art will feed your soul.

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Peace

Peace.

I love the Spring rain. I love the smell.  I am so lucky to live in a small town with no big city odor.  Crocuses are popping up, tulips are starting to emerge.  I'm sitting in my comfy new chair with Bree at my feet.  Bree and I took a nice, wet, and muddy walk today, as evidenced by her pawprints in the sun room.  I'm re-reading "Peace is Every Step" again, as well as re-reading "The Hobbit" for the umpteenth time.

Days like today are meant to be savored.  Mother Nature is giving us the day off.  In a few weeks we'll be breaking ground for my new vegetable garden.  I've already ordered some heirloom seeds...I'll need to block out an area to decide how large this garden will actually be. I cannot WAIT to get out there and start planting.

Since the boardwalk and trail from Dexter to Hudson Mills has been finished, Michael and I will be heading into Ann Arbor to pick out bikes at The Student Bike Shop soon. I'm hoping it's still there, as I haven't driven past it in a while.  The trail is about 5 miles long one way, so it will be a nice ride, and great opportunity for photographs.  Bree and I have partially walked the trail, but, I always have to keep in mind that we need to consider the walk back.  I'm so glad that, at age 9, Bree has no arthritis issues. Keeping her active is key.  I am looking for a big fluffy puppy for Bree and I to love, so I'm watching the HVHS carefully.

I have laundry, and some cleaning to do...but meh. Not today.  It'll hold.

Life is sweet.