... of an FDA advisory panel, stops short of slapping the strongest "black box" warning on this class of drugs, which includes widely used medications such as clonazepam (Klonopin ...
News & Articles (Drugs.com)
Monday, January 31, 2011
Withdrawal from Klonopin, Day 7
The swimming I did yesterday made me tired enough to get almost 3 hours sleep last night. Believe it or not, that is an improvement. Bree and I spent several hours at the retirement home making others happy. It truly lifts my spirits, when a frail, elderly gentleman asleep in his bed, jumps up when he heard Bree walk in, and called her up to sit on his bed. (He's a brave man. Bree is a big Malamute at almost 97 pounds. She licked his face, and he laughed in joy. My problems disappeared. The residents at this home love our visits, and are so appreciative and sweet. Bree never fails to elicit a smile from everyone there, including docs and staff. We were both exhausted when we returned home. That is a good thing. Tonight, I go down one more milligram in my Klonopin dosage. This worries me. I'm trying hard not to concentrate on my inability to sleep, by blogging, and reading. I expect tomorrow will be somewhat of a challenge. Unfortunately, it is down to 10 degrees tonight, and unless it gets up to at least 18, I can't ride. As we are expecting two feet of snow tomorrow night and Wednesday, I think it is imperative for me to get out of the house...so if not the barn...the pool at the gym. There is something about swimming...counting laps...working hard, that is almost meditative in nature. I feel a lightness of being, and I swim hard and fast. (I swam competitively throughout my life, and was on the Varsity swim team at Indiana University/Bloomington) I also coached swimming for more than 28 years, so it is an activity that comes as naturally to me as walking. There is comfort in the silence and the coolness of the water...the familiar smells. I generally have almost the whole pool to myself. Anyway, that is my strategy for tomorrow. If I become snowed in on Wednesday, my plan is a romp in the snow with Bree, and starting a new book: The Tao of Equus. In many ways, I feel responsible for allowing myself to be placed on this horrible drug. I should have researched it first. Now I know just how much you can trust a Psychiatrist to look out for your best interests. However, I am DETERMINED to not allow this thing to bring me down. I am stronger than that. I guess sometimes it comes down to :Patient, Heal Thyself.
Withdrawal from Klonopin, Day 6
I spent an extremely uncomfortable night attempting to sleep through the nause and the pain caused by the withdrawal of this toxic masterpiece called Klonopin. It is even painful when my own hair brushes up against my face. I have terrible tinnitus...and a shocking sensation in my head. When I finally decided to start my day I decided to become more active in hurrying this process along. So. After breakfast I backed my truck out of the garage and headed for the gym. I swam a metric mile nonstop, and swam another half mile doing intervals and windsprints. Exhausted, I soaked in the hot tub, and spent an hour in the steam room. I'm hoping my own personal plan of getting this crap out of my body is successful. It has to be. I cannot live like this. Next week...assuming the temp is at least 18, I plan to ride my horse...personal mental therapy. Tomorrow, though, my Malamute, Bree and I are making our weekly visit to a nursing home. (We are a registered Therapy team.) Sometimes making others smile makes my own personal problems seem just a little bit better. Here's hoping I'll have a better night tonight.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Anxiety and Klonopin
After I broke my neck and suffered a severe concussion in a fall in January, 2010 I have never been the same. Perhaps this scary brush with death or paralysis has made me anxious...about everything. Anxiety disorders are not to be taken lightly. My body tingles everywhere, I have bouts of irritability. Sometimes, I am CERTAIN I am dying. I tried self-treatment. I avoid Psychiatry like it was the plague (Actually, it IS a plague). Desperate, one day, I made an appointment with a shrink I used to see. My anxiety was taking over my life. That was about 4 months ago. He put me on 4 mg. of Klonopin twice a day. Yep. That's 4 mg. total. I tried it and it worked. I was SO relieved and happy. Maybe there WAS something to this Psych med approach after all. However, two weeks ago, my symptoms returned. After considerable personal research I discovered that 4 mg. of Klonopin is a huge dose. I also read that after a period of time, your body starts to tolerate the drug, and your symptoms return. In doing all of this reading, I found that Klonopin (a benzodiazapene), is one of the most addictive drugs on the planet...more so than alcohol or heroin. I read story after story of frightening stories of patients who had to detox from this drug. The detox can take months to years! The symptoms of Klonopin withdrawal occur no matter how slowly you taper the drug. I called a Neurologist I know for advice. She gave me a taper schedule. I am on day 3 of this very gradual taper, and I feel like shit. I'm doing my best to combat these symptoms. I take Yoga, I exercise or swim at least every other day...and when I say swim, I mean at least a metric mile workout. It is harder than anything I have ever had to do. I have been visiting and riding my horse despite the cold...I've tried self-distraction, aromatherapy...but what it really comes down to is this: I am alone in this fight. I am alone and suffering. I WILL tough it out. Posting daily on this blog might help. Who knows?
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Psychiatry as Pseudoscience
I've talked about this before, ad nauseum. I know. I KNOW. Removed myself from Psychiatry years ago. Basically, shrinks are just drug dealers who deal legally. They use "medications" they do not understand, based on info provided by Big Pharma. The new generation of neuroleptics are dangerous drugs...think tardive dyskinesia. obesity, diabetes, metabolic syndrome, DEATH, and just plain ineffectiveness. If someone is "different" is that a pathology? These days EVERYONE is bi-polar or Borderline. If you feel sad, you get a happy pill...an SSRI, when NO one knows the long-term effects of this medication. People are locked up against their will for the slimmest of reasons. ECT, which causes brain damage is used routinely, especially with the elderly. If you feel you need therapy...or just to talk to someone, that is not a bad idea, IF you can find someone competent. My horse and dog are my therapists.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Thoughts of the day
Received a comment on this blog. THANK YOU for the kind words. Can't seem to get out to the barn this week...(serious cold weather the main factor.) I've been thinking a lot about the anger in this country...actually thought about it long before the tragic shootings in Arizona. I understand people's insecurities and fears with regard to the economy, joblessness, foreclosures, etc. I just don't get why Americans feel we must attack one another, when this actually worsens our problems....which brings me to the idea of gun control. Who should be allowed to own weapons. On what criteria do we base this decision. The "mentally ill" should not be allowed to acquire weapons? Who would that be?...the anxious...the depressed...bipolar, borderline...those who have been treated for mental illness for any reason?...We come perilously close to treading on the 2nd amendment rights of millions of citizens. Having said that...we do need to ban assault weapons of any kind. I'm not a gun fanatic. I never have, and never will own a gun....don't like hunters, either....but then. That's just me.
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