Who gives a crap

What I have to say on this blog has no meaning to anyone other than myself. These are simply my private thoughts that I've written down on this blog. There is nobody out there, so why do I continue to write?

I am feeling so down at the moment. Nothing in my life seems to be working. I feel a deep sense of sadness and regret over the way my life has turned out. I try SO hard to be amenable, agreeable, and kind to everyone I meet...except myself. This blog, for instance....is like a voice in the darkness. No one is out there. I am not being heard. There is so much anger and cruelty in this country...this world...at the moment, I am simply over-whelmed. I want, quite simply, to love and be loved....by someone other than my dog and my horse. At this moment, I have no idea where I will be living next spring. Financially, I am living from hand-to-mouth. I am sitting on the edge of homelessness. I live in hopelessness.

mortality

It's been a while since I've kept up this blog..broke my neck at C3 in January...received a traumatic brain injury in addition. Don't get me wrong. I am more than grateful that I'm not paralyzed for life. However, my brain is sending faulty pain signals 24/7. I find the slightest touch to be painful. Even my own hair brushing up against my face is painful. For months I could not understand how I could continue living life in this way. BUT, I have a wonderful family, great friends, a beautiful horse, a faithful Malamute, and a grandchild on the way. LOYS of reasons to keep up the good fight.