People who know me well, are aware that I am a very anxious introvert. That comes from the way I was raised, I suppose. Anxiety for no real reason. It is just there. Most people experience anxiety about their appearance, public speaking, or impending danger, or the unknown. That's just not me, though. I actually feel quite comfortable with all of those things. My anxiety is self-generated.
But. I found the cure many years ago. Water. Swimming. I feel powerful, graceful, and secure in the water. I feel absolutely safe. That is why the idea of swimming the Mackinac Straits does not make me feel anxious in any way. I've been warned. I have been told about the dangers...the currents...the shipping lane, and the unpredictability of those waters. When I told my Mother I was going to do this before she died, she laughed and said: "I believe you will, Julie."
Other types of exercise don't bring the same feelings of peace, and power. Not to me. I tried long-distance running. I sucked at that. Riding my horse was a wonderful thing...a bonding experience....and the feeling of a very deep connection with another being. But it is not the same.
On off days, or lifting days, I have difficulty concentrating...or even being around people.
i withdraw a lot.
Swimming. There is no better drug. No greater joy.
At least not for me.
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