My Life at Age Five

I was an extremely shy little girl.  However, the nuns gave me a big part in the kindergarten play.  I believe I had 5 lines.  On show night, we all performed well, and I was quite proud of myself.  My friends mothers all patted on the back. There were smiles all around.  My Dad was grinning from ear to ear.  On the way home in the car, my mother said:"You did great, but you need to speak a lot louder."  It was praise from my mother that I wanted, but never seemed able to make her proud.  I sank down in my seat, dropping my head.  My mother turned around and stroked my sister Sarah's hair.  Sarah was two years old, and, in my 5 year old opinion, a complete brat, and yet my mother gave her the attention I desperately wanted.  My father, on the other hand, was always calling me his pretty little girl.  That night, after our baths, my mother put us to bed.  I fell quickly asleep.  Hours later, I heard the squeaky board in front of our bedroom door.  My father crept in and whispered softly to me.  He said I was his special girl, and that he would never let anyone hurt me.  He stroked my dark brown hair and kissed me softly on the lips. I remember being surprised by that, as we were always kissed on the forehead or the cheek.  He put his hand gently under my pajama top, and rubbed my tummy.  That felt so nice.  My Daddy really loved me.