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Thursday, January 27, 2011

Anxiety and Klonopin

After I broke my neck and suffered a severe concussion in a fall in January, 2010 I have never been the same.  Perhaps this scary brush with death or paralysis has made me anxious...about everything.  Anxiety disorders are not to be taken lightly.  My body tingles everywhere, I have bouts of irritability.  Sometimes, I am CERTAIN I am dying. I tried self-treatment.  I avoid Psychiatry like it was the plague (Actually, it IS a plague).  Desperate, one day, I made an appointment with a shrink I used to see.  My anxiety was taking over my life.  That was about 4 months ago.  He put me on 4 mg. of Klonopin twice a day.  Yep.  That's 4 mg. total.  I tried it and it worked.  I was SO relieved and happy.  Maybe there WAS something to this Psych med approach after all.  However, two weeks ago, my symptoms returned.  After considerable personal research I discovered that 4 mg. of Klonopin is a huge dose.  I also read that after a period of time, your body starts to tolerate the drug, and your symptoms return.  In doing all of this reading, I found that Klonopin (a benzodiazapene), is one of the most addictive drugs on the planet...more so than alcohol or heroin.  I read story after story of frightening stories of patients who had to detox from this drug.  The detox can take months to years!  The symptoms of Klonopin withdrawal occur no matter how slowly you taper the drug.  I called a Neurologist I know for advice.  She gave me a taper schedule.  I am on day 3 of this very gradual taper, and I feel like shit.  I'm doing my best to combat these symptoms.  I take Yoga, I exercise or swim at least every other day...and when I say swim, I mean at least a metric mile workout.  It is harder than anything I have ever had to do.  I have been visiting and riding my horse despite the cold...I've tried self-distraction, aromatherapy...but what it really comes down to is this:  I am alone in this fight.  I am alone and suffering.  I WILL tough it out.  Posting daily on this blog might help.  Who knows?

2 comments:

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